Ruminations

You might be forgiven for thinking, from the poetry I have been reading and reposting lately, that there is still some residual bitterness in my heart.  Not so, Dear Reader.  It is rather as if I recognise in the poetry a quality I had not previously seen, possibly in the same sense that a picture of the Eiffel Tower would have more significance to one who has actually stood beneath it.

I have been there.  I understand what the poet is saying.  I find this an excellent way to externalise the vestiges of pain and look upon it objectively.  Plus it is a valid reminder that one is never alone.  Someone else has travelled the same road. There is also a little of the “Wish I had said that” in the reposting.  I do like a well-chosen phrase.

It is nearly three years now since I last had a cuddle, so to speak, and almost exactly two years since I learned I would not be getting any cuddles on my return from Fiji.

At this time I have found I can exist pretty well without, and fully expect to continue to do so indefinitely.   There is certainly no potential cuddlee in the offing around here.  I actually ruminated recently,  for the first time ever, on whether it might be interesting, entertaining,  or perhaps even beneficial to my mental well-being, to engage the professional services of an expert cuddler.  I have no idea where to find one, except in Kalgoorlie.  A long way to go!

I have no real interest in a transaction of that nature.  In a very detached and academic self assessment, the conclusion I very easily reached was that cuddling – like scuba diving -was a very enjoyable pastime, and an uplifting experience.  Both at one time or another had been the very core of my existence, but I was managing very well without both.  I have fond memories.   On the other hand, I still have my mask, snorkel and flippers.

And let us not forget; two motorcycles.

Advertisements

About Uisce úr

Though I am old with wandering Through hollow lands and hilly lands, I will find out where she has gone, And kiss her lips and take her hands; And walk among long dappled grass, And pluck till time and times are done, The silver apples of the moon, The golden apples of the sun.
This entry was posted in Life, don't talk to me about life!. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Ruminations

  1. Pilgrim33 says:

    Probably TMI for public perusal but quite understandable.
    I think the problem is that ,some,men believe the romantic ideal ware as ,most,women indulge in it while not believing.

    Like

  2. Alan says:

    No need for that old friend. I really do not feel bitter. I may not have been the perfect companion anyway, but my one good quality (in my own estimation) is loyalty. I would never have ended the relationship myself, despite its flaws. And it did have flaws. In a way, I may be better off single, and I got here without breaking my principles. I now look on the stint in Fiji as a test of the relationship. Maybe subconsciously I did all along… Who knows?

    Sorry about the TMI. This is not a real blog but my journal, remember, addressed to a hypothetical future me.

    Like

  3. Pilgrim33 says:

    While I would not suggest bitterness as a long term,high intensity strategy I could sympathize with a mental note to hope to be behind someone on a long down escalator in an almost-empty mall.

    Like

Please comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s