I was speechless with laughter after reading this:
It reminded me of the time in Auckland that we were running a major Civil Defence exercise based on the scenario of a volcanic eruption on the isthmus. It turned out the international bowling championships were on. Some old codger heard on the radio about the big CD exercise and called to ask us to postpone it, because they did not want to get ash on the bowling greens!
And then there was the woman who phoned me to tell me that she had been diagnosed with Campylobacteriosis. Her doctor had told her she probably got it from eating chicken. She said she never eats chicken. I heard a small yappy dog in the background, so I mentioned that I had just read a paper by one of my colleagues in the Hamilton area who reported that 86% of pet dogs were carrying Campylobacter.
I asked if she had a small dog, and she confirmed that she did. But then added that he had never been to Hamilton.
We have a Tim Abbott in Katanning. More about him later, after I have checked with my lawyers…