The Voice (Cont.)

“Prepare to turn right at the roundabout in 300 metres.”

“OK. Thanks. Glad you know where we are.”

“In one hundred metres turn right at the roundabout, taking the third exit onta garble ord.”

“Did you say onta?  And ord? What happened to your posh accent?”

“Turn right at the roundabout, taking the third exit onta garble ord.”

“You are not very good at pronouncing Australian street names”.

“Then you should have chosen the Australian voice”.

“I like your English accent.  Except I have noticed you say ‘onta’ instead of ‘on to’ and ‘ord’ because I assume you are trying to say ‘Rd.’ Just trifling matters really”.

“You are exceeding the speed limit.”

So is ev’ry other fucker on this stretch of road.  And don’t change the subject. We were talking about elocution.”

“There is no call for vulgarity”.


“Is that the battery?  Damn! I didn’t charge it…  Lara?


“Dead.  Damn…  Ah well I guess that proves you are not in my head”.


“Doesn’t it?”


About Uisce úr

Though I am old with wandering Through hollow lands and hilly lands, I will find out where she has gone, And kiss her lips and take her hands; And walk among long dappled grass, And pluck till time and times are done, The silver apples of the moon, The golden apples of the sun.
This entry was posted in Life, don't talk to me about life!. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Voice (Cont.)

  1. Alan says:

    I’m having the same problem. Even between NZ and Oz our vocabulary is different. In Oz we have gravel roads, in NZ metal. Here they wear pullovers, In NZ jerseys. And so on.


  2. Sooo funny but sooo true. Anyone who uses a GPS knows this too well and anyone who has their GPS set to a different country accent knows it oh so well too. J I had mine set to an Ozzie accent. It had problems pronouncing all sorts of things and abbreviations. I found myself hitting repeat a lot… but then again I found that people down under ask me to repeat things a lot and I mean a lot when I live in OZ… A lot of funny stories about them and me failing to communicate…


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