It seems I missed a typically fatuous religious sermon in the FijiTimes on Saturday.
The responses in the paper today are so good I feel I have to quote them.
...the article tells women that no matter how tired they are, they should
be available to satisfy their husband’s sexual needs. This reinforces
images of women as just sex objects and men having insatiable sexual
Such ideas shift the responsibility of the relationship
solely on the women. Marriage is a partnership and for it to work it
requires sharing of responsibility.
Also the statement that "God
created Eve to fulfill Adam’s ‘need’" is a dangerous idea to preach at a
time where we are trying to deal with increasing cases of rape and
child sexual abuse.
Such articles encourage rape and child sexual
abuse in our communities because it presents perpetrator of such crime
The perpetrators of such horrendous crimes come up
with excuses such as my wife was pregnant, or my wife wouldn’t sleep
with me that’s why I raped my daughter. These forms of excuses get
reinforced into the minds of communities and this leads to a shift in
the focus from the perpetrator being guilty to feeling sorry for him
then the victims.
There is no excuse for such crimes.
IT is quite appalling to read what was being preached at the United
Pentecostal Women and Daughters national conference (Bedroom roles
vital, wives told, FT 08/05).
What has happened to shared
responsibility in marriage, or do we conveniently choose to leave that
aside when it comes to house work or issues of intimacy?
pulpit can be used as a tool to liberate stereotype thinking, which have
for so long contributed to the mistreatment and discrimination of
Why then do some continue to use the pulpit to further
victimise women by shifting the responsibility of marriage breakdown and
men’s extramarital affairs on wives rather than preach about the
principles of love, trust, equality and respect?
to read about how the Bible is interpreted to justify the unequal and
unfair treatment of women.
SO, a senior pastor’s wife, Pauline Cama, thinks that the working
women of today need to realise that apart from their work and household
chores, that they also "play a role in the bedroom and that they were
made to fulfil their husbands needs". She goes on to say, that "the role
of women had not changed since creation" (FT 08/05).
What kind of
retrogressive thinking is that and what century does she think we’re
living in? Particularly in our society and culture in this country,
where so many women have their rights violated and some even bashed to
death by their husbands?
I note that she makes no mention of the
role of the husbands in sharing household chores and child minding. Nor
does she mention that they too, may be too tired to fulfil their role in
the bedroom, after drinking grog into the early hours of the morning!
Nor does she mention whether they should also share the responsibility
of contraception, or does that all fall to the woman as well?
THE article (FT 08/05) titled ‘Bedroom roles vital, women told’
blames women for the break up of marriages in society if the wives do
not satisfy their husbands in the bedroom or attend to the sexual
desires of their husbands. This revelation is very misleading.
expectation that society has on women include; looking after the
children, household chores, collective community and village work,
attending to church meetings, gardening, fishing, collecting firewood
and fulfilling the husband’s sexual desires, etc. While a working mother
is expected to; cook, clean, wash, work eight hours a day for a week,
look after the children, attend church on Sunday, marketing on
Saturdays, etc as well as the satisfaction she needs to give her husband
in the bedroom. Yet, with all the work expected from a woman, she is
still expected to do more just to keep her man.
Some men or
husbands still look for outside pleasure even though they have a healthy
sexual relationship with their wives. The influence of alcohol, drugs
and peer pressure from male-friends sometimes encourages men to have
extra marital affairs. And when men have extra marital affairs, the
wives are blamed and made to believe that they (wives) are not servicing
their husbands well in the bedroom. Yet when women have an affair
outside the marriage, men are not blamed for the lack of bedroom
activity or sex in the marriage.
Perhaps, husbands should be
taught how to respect women and to understand that women are not
machines that can satisfy all their sexual needs as well as tend to all
other household chores. Men also need to know that a happy marriage does
not rest only on sex but shared responsibility in the home.
And with those four wonderful letters to choose from, what does the Fiji Times pick as the Letter of the Week?
ALLOW me to express my disgust
at some people who still smoke in public places. Unfortunately, I saw
this in the Capital City, Suva.
Spending the last two weeks there,
it was crystal clear that some people are ignorant of the rule — no
smoking in public places.
At the bus stop, and even just before
they get into the bus, two or three puffs.
It’s time someone
re-enforces this rule for everyone, no exceptions.
So I sent this to the editor…
Today the Fiji Times published four excellent and well written responses
from Farzana Gulista, Tevita Seruilumi, Talei
Burness and Moira Raduva to the fatuous religious
sermon published previously (FT 08/05) about women and their roles. And with
those four wonderful letters to choose from,
what does the Fiji Times pick as the Letter of the Week?
A no doubt valid, but hardly earthshaking, complaint about smoking in